So Close, And Still So Far
by FringieDemigod
Summary: This is Natasha, not the Black Widow. She reminded herself as she curled up by the window. This is the Natasha who lost her other half, the most important thing in life, the source that keeps her alive and strong. He's gone, gone.


**If you're the teary type, I'm guessing you'll need some tissue papers so do get them ready because this is a teary piece of work. If you're not the teary type then just, um, read :D**

**Hugs for reading my story, Nat :3**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Natasha, Clint (the bow and arrows) and the other characters from the movie but the kid is mine :)

**So Close, And Still So Far**

This is Natasha, not the Black Widow. She reminded herself as she curled up by the window. This is the Natasha who lost her other half, the most important thing in life, the source that keeps her alive and strong. He's gone, gone.

She inhaled the cool air, her breath visible on the window. The sea whispered in the dark night, the stars twinkling to the tempo of the waves as she watched. SHIELD had moved her to a safe place, someplace near the sea where she can be safe. Safe from the monsters who took his life. She wiped away the solitary tear which trailed down from her eye, her heart jumping a beat as she heard the door to her house open and close. There was a sound of a bow being placed on the table, then possibly two guns. Footsteps were heard heading towards her room, then just as she predicted, a knock on her door.

"Yeah?" She managed to answer feebly. "Can I come in?" The voice plead.

"I... I'm sorry, no." She hesitated when the answer escaped her lips. Her body started to shake violently as she struggled to keep her tears at bay.

"Why not?"

She slipped off the chair, her red hair cascading onto her shoulders as she tucked off the ponytail, and moved steadily to the door. She closed my eyes when she was reaching for the door knob.

"Goodness, are you okay?" The blonde at her door exclaimed, seeing her red eyes and tear tracks.

"I... You remind me too much of him." She cupped his face. "I'm sorry, honey, but I think I'd pass this night alone."

"It's fine." He said. "People keep saying that too."

Her hands were shaking when she hugged him. She planted her face into his shoulders and she sobbed, like never before, her tears staining his wrinkled T-shirt.

He just stood there in pure shock until he slowly wrapped his strong arms around her. Just like him.

"Goodnight, Arlie." She whispered to her son while drying off the remaining tears. "Goodnight, mom." He nudged her cheek with his nose before heading to his room. Even his back reminded her of him.

Shutting her room's door behind her she threw her head back, covering her mouth as she started to whimper. She should have made Arlie stay. She knows he's her son, but he's at least a comfort. She made her way to the bed and she slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

She opened her eyes. Gold, everything was gold. Piano music flooded her ears (A/N: If you're using a computer, I'd suggest you to search for So Close by Jon McLaughlin on YouTube and listen to it while you read :D). She was wearing a shimmering red gown, her long hair let down and part of it braided into a French plait, a golden ribbon tied to its end. Then, she saw him. "Clint."

"Hey Tasha." The man smiled. He was in a black tux and a purple tie. "May I?" He stretched out his hand to her. The redhead blushed and took his hand and he immediately started to dance her around they room.

They were in a beautiful palace-like ballroom, a small band stashed up in a corner. Natasha recognized the song as "So Close" from the movie years ago called "Enchanted". She let the blonde guide her steps as she sunk into the flowing music.

_So close to reaching that famous happy end_  
_Almost believing this was not pretend_  
_And now you're beside me and look how far we've come_  
_So far we are so close..._

The song and their dance went on, light showering the couple as they twirled in the middle of the ballroom. They were the center of attention, Natasha's red gown flying in the breeze out of nowhere and Clint smiling proudly.

All of a sudden, everything in front of Natasha started to fade to ashes. She tried to speak, but no sounds came out. Moments later, Natasha found herself standing beside a casket, a single purple rose placed on the cover. _His funeral,_ Her mind quickly realized. She attempted to shut her eyes and walk away, but she couldn't. The bow and arrows were presented to her. "I want you to keep them. At least he would want you to." Maria Hill's voice reached her ears. Then, it was thunder. And lightning. "Not me." Thor said glumly. The guys all nodded, none of them paying too much attention to the blonde man. The rain started and people started to leave, umbrellas opening everywhere, although not much had been there. The remaining Avengers bid Natasha goodbye and left as well. Natasha sunk to her knees as tears erupted from her eyes. Her tears combined with the falling rain and dripped onto the empty casket while she recalled, once again, his death which was told to her by Nick Fury.

_"He was alone on that mission," the black man told her. "No other agent was watching his back and he got caught. We... assume that he was first, uh, pierced in the heart and bombed to pieces..." Her boss trailed off spotting the tears swimming in her eyes. "I had a fight with him," she decided to say. "After our marriage, everything was perfect until he told me he wanted another kid and," she sniffed, "and I said no because it was painful and stuff but he insisted and we started to grow apart-" She couldn't continue._

The last lyrics of the song chimed in her ears when she stood up. She took her son's hand and led him away for the workers to place the coffin into the ground.

_We're so close_  
_To reaching that famous happy end_  
_And almost believing this was not pretend_  
_Let's go on dreaming for we know we are_  
_So close _  
_So close_  
_And still so far..._

* * *

Natasha's eyes flew open. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that it was just a dream. Sitting up from her bed, she turned the bedside lamp on. The photo which she dared not to looked at was picked up. "Clint..." She muttered. She trailed her eyes along his jawline, his stunning smile, his beautiful eyes. Then, finally, the words at the bottom of the picture.

"Clinton Barton, 1980 - 2020." What a heart-breaking statement. The pain pounded against her heart like Thor's hammer. He went when Arlie was still a meek boy of four, and she guessed that kind of matches her name. Black Widow. Yeah, ironic, isn't it?

Wait. This is Natasha, not the Black Widow. She reminded herself again. Natasha who was an orphan. Natasha who had a son, Arlie Harold Barton. Natasha who lost her best friend, partner and husband.

* * *

She fell asleep again soon, this time a dreamless sleep. A brown bird landed by her window porch and its eyes fixed on the red-haired figure, watching her body rise and fall rhythmically. The bird had its left wing wrapped up with black bandages. "Natasha..." It glided silently into the room and perched on the side of the bed, its beady blue eyes staring lovingly at the sleeping lady. "I'm so sorry..." The bird spoke and touched her head with its wing. "Mmhf..." The redhead woke slightly and opened her eyes tiredly, but closed them and rolled to the other side of the bed seeing nothing. "I shouldn't have been angry at you, I should have listened to you..." The bird fell silent hearing the sound of a door creaking open. It turned to see a teenage boy peeking into the room.

"Dad?"

"Hey, Arlie." The bird flapped over to the boy, who had his arm outstretched for the hawk to land.

"Would you mind teaching me something more about this bow of yours?" The boy held up his other hand, which were clutching his gift from his mother for his fifth birthday.

"Sure, no problem, kid."


End file.
